Some thoughts.

I hope this will be the last time I'll be blogging until I finish my As. Well, I can't help but to share my feelings now. I'm feeling kinda complicated.

Marriage. This word has become familiar to me. But what is the value of marriage? Couples get married isn't it because they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives supporting and encouraging each other? Isn't it because they have loved each other to the extent that they could tolerate and compromise to their partner's shortcomings and even bad habits? Why is it that what I'm seeing and hearing does not comply to my knowledge about marriage? Is it a norm for people to break up and divorce and get married again and divorce? If getting married is a test to whether you can live with the person, then what is the value of marriage?

If marriage is a lifetime promise of taking care of your partner for the rest of your life, then why isn't he complying to his promise? She shared her thoughts with me with her voice trembling. Each time she trembles, I feel my heart being pierced a thousand times. She means the world to me. She has earned my utmost respect. She made me love her alot that I can't bear to see her agonize. Would you reject simple requests from your lifetime partner? Would you turn your head away when he/she is in trouble? If not, then why did he? Why is it so hard for me to respect him? Why do I even have to force myself to give him respect? Or am I just giving him face? It's really putting me on the spot.

I always thought I have a wonderful childhood. When young, I always look forward to the weekend programmes. To the zoo, bird park, even just the playground, I felt love and happiness. As I grow up, I realise that all these love and happiness comes along with sacrifices. Everything that I get to enjoy, something must be sacrifice. And she sacrified for her children's happiness and comfort. Has he?

Luckily none of her children are rebellious and they grew with sensible mind. A mind that always contain thoughts and concern for their mother. She may not be a great woman to anybody, but she definitely is the greatest woman be it a daughter or a wife or a sister or a mother, to me. I really feel guilty for being petty sometimes. But I promise I will not anymore.

diraulluhare
We grew up for some little sec1 cadets in npcc when we always get pumps from our CIs then. I first knew Ha when we played captain's ball and he bumped onto my nose and i bumped onto him with bruise on his knee. Then, we became NCOs when all of us, worked so happily together. Conflicts were never in our dictionary. Our forthrightness and crappiness, has made work never tedious. On the road to gaining CI-ship, some of us met obstacles time and again. When we feel like giving up, there's always someone to encourage. When we feel discouraged, there's always someone to give support. When we feel happy, there's always someone to share our joy. When we feel upset, there's always someone to shed tears with you. Finally, all of us are going to be CIs. All of us. Ha faced rejections time and again. His spirit of never-say-die is definitely commendable. It's really a happy thing to see him finally getting the rank he deserved. I will go to your POP and witness the proudest moment in your life, Ha.

Alevels
Uncertainty. Darkness. Lost hopes. Disappointment. I really appreciate my mum and Zy. Whenever I feel that my studies become pitched dark, my mum never fail to lend me a shoulder to cry on. And zy never fail to make me feel hope. Just giving me hope is good enough. I promise I will never say its a false hope when hope doesn't become a reality. So please, don't stop giving me hope because of being afraid that I might feel even more upset when I fail. Don't stop giving me hope.

Eileen. Xian. Sabbie. Valr. Carlene. My unhappiness and worries for studies always get diverted with your presence in school. You girls will be the ones I'll miss most from tpjc. And I really appreciate that all of you always try your best to help me in my studies and never once you girls has fu yan me. I must must must work hard and passed this ordeal. Like what Valr said, no one loses forever. I'm going to believe in myself again. =)